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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I am so LUCKY to be with You! (really?)

I’ve written about how my husband and I almost got divorced a few months ago. Recently, I realized I still had some baggage about that. Here’s the astonishing truth I learned: I was angry at Him because I felt unworthy. Part of my anger was because I felt guilty.
    When I got married I was already practicing taking inventory of my thoughts, my motives, and my actions.  Yet my inventory seemed to be missing an important segment.  I knew my flaws and my emotional baggage.  I felt broken, and lucky. I felt lucky to be married to a wonderful man who treated me with kindness and understanding,   listened patiently (truly patiently, not trying to be patient and seething beneath the surface) and created safety for me to process things and heal. He also never leaves the toilet seat up, cleans up after himself, does all the laundry, grocery shops (better than me at times), is active in our church, leads our family in prayer and scripture study, takes the kids to the park, takes me out on dates, etc. Sounds pretty great, huh ladies? He is. He is great. I felt lucky.


Here’s how I viewed myself in comparison: grumpy, messy, scatter-brained, broken, a burden, hard to understand, hard to live with. It was a huge surprise to me when I stopped blaming him and criticizing him and realized what a great guy he is to realize that I am pretty amazing myself. Even with my flaws, there had to be someone who loved the whole package of me and didn’t find it a burden to live with me. This may seem like common knowledge...but it was like the heavens opening up and angels singing hallelujah to me when I realized this. Do you feel LUCKY to be married to your spouse or to have good friends? I felt lucky because I felt unworthy. There is a difference between felling grateful and feeling lucky.


When I realized this my whole world changed. I believe I began to see myself as God sees me. I saw the whole package without pretending away my flaws or exaggerating my strengths and it was not so bad. I realized I had been staying with my husband because I believed I was so unworthy that no-one else could stand me. While I may be unworthy to enter God’s presence without Christ to cover my sins, I am of infinite value and worth in God’s sight and never below or above any human being. This morning I get to revisit this again because there were some left-overs of it in my soul that I get to release now. My worth and value are incalculable and I am blessed to have a great husband and other great loved-ones, and they are likewise blessed to have me. Our weaknesses and strengths both serve each other in this process of growth in mortality and we are all blessed to be in each other’s lives because life is a gift.


     On the flip side: are there people in your life who you deem "lucky" to have you? Do you feel yourself a "cut above the rest"?  Why do you think you need to feel that way?  Why does anyone need to feel lucky to be with someone?  In my egocentric moments I thought my husband was lucky to be with me and I created this to counteract how unworthy I felt to be with him, I also created the "lucky to be with you" to balance the egocentricity.  All of this is a comparison issue.  It's none of my business how another human being is doing in their progress in comparison to me.  I believe there will be a day of judgement and that I will have nothing to do with any one's but my own.  God will judge us individually according to his perfect knowledge of us.  It will not matter how we fared in comparison, just what we did with what we were given.

     This life is such a gift when we let go of pain, resentment, fear and justifications we can see the beautiful masterpiece God created.  Half of the conclusions we draw about other people are in defense of something we are uncomfortable with about ourselves.  We create caricatures to justify ourselves, we label others motives to discredit them because they point out something we are unwilling to see, unwilling to acknowledge and change.  We inherently know that when we see a problem in our behavior (outward or inward) we are responsible to change it and we go to great lengths to avoid it sometimes.  Let it go.

     We assign so much shame to things. It makes it hard to recognize that all that is needful is to acknowledge and change course.  We get to feel guilt (pain) just long enough to recognize error, change gear and let it go.  Beyond that guilt becomes shame and damns our progress by skewing our view, we are continually looking for a way out of a pit that we are no longer in.  Have you ever had a child beg and plead for something you are more than willing to give them? If they'll just stop long enough they'd realize it's in your hand right in front of them and all they need to do is stop begging and take it?  I think that's what it may be like for God when we are constantly trying to be forgiven from something and sinking into shame.  Acknowledge, ask forgiveness, accept healing through the atonement, change, let go, move forward.  It's that simple. We just overcomplicate it.

   I am so grateful for the love and acceptance I feel as I recognize who I am and declutter all I am not.  I am grateful to know that I am of worth because I am of God.  As I remember who I am, it becomes easy to recognize the rest for what it is and to let it go.  I am enough without it.



Liz King Bradley
Public Speaker, Healing Coach, Author

Sunday, November 20, 2011

God, I Can't do That, What will People say?

     I have been faced with a dilemma.  I have been prompted to do and say things that could trigger some unpleasant interactions with others...at least some distance from people.  I made a choice I decided to tell God, "I love you more than I'm afraid of them."  Then because I know that the power they have over me is because I'm depending on them to love me, I said to myself, "I love you more than I'm afraid of them."  POWERFUL!  Deep, down power, the kind of certainty that lets you jump those hurdles, climb those mountains and wear those fishnet tights. :) (I love my fishnets, and now I wear them...to church, even.)  How many ideas has God given you that you squashed with people fear?  How many genius solutions have you pushed aside with your self-fear?  How many books DIDN'T you write because you believed no one would read them?  How many people have you NOT helped because you feared people more than you loved light and truth?  Yeah, I don't want to know your answers.  I know mine.  A friend of mine introduced a great replacement affirmation.  When she thought "What if_________?",  She replaced it with "So what, if________."  What will you say ,"So what..." to today?

Liz King Bradley
Public Speaker, Coach, Author

Friday, November 18, 2011

Wearing the Right Glasses


  All of us have a unique perspective.  As we travel through life we pick up “glasses” through which we choose to view people and events. Some of these lenses are, skepticism, optimism, pessimism, and Charity (the pure love of Christ).  We use each of these lenses for a reason, with a purpose.  The skepticism helps us to carefully scrutinize a situation to discern the best possible course of action and to avoid interactions with people who intend to abuse us or our gifts, it’s our shield.  Optimism allows us to take risks with people and situations in life providing space for building trust in ourselves and others as well as providing space for personal growth.  We use pessimism, when we have been burned a few times and are without hope and feel the need to be protected from life.  Last, we use the lens of Charity.  When we view people through the lens of Charity allows us to see people for who they really are, and what they really intend to be.  The lens of charity can only be formed through the atonement of Christ.  All the other lenses we use use can contribute to the lens of Charity when we apply the atonement of Christ to our own lives and to the way we look at others.  The atonement refines and utilizes the BEST qualities from each of these perspectives and creates a perspective that is most true, the final product of the refinement of these perspectives is Charity.  
Only Christ who never did anything wrong and had no need to change his perspective in order to protect himself from his own guilt or from seeing the guilt of others has clear enough judgement to make ours clear.  He experienced humanity in it’s beauty and ugliness and saw each for what they were.  He sees us for who we are.  In relationships whether personal or business, seeing through Charity means that I acknowledge and do not pretend away weaknesses in myself or my clients, friends, family, spouse, etc. but that I also see the divine and beauty in them.  Does this mean I allow everyone to be in my inner circle of trust?  Does it mean that I allow everyone to partake of my gifts? No.  It means that I harbor no resentment for people, but I also draw a clear line.  When the Savior threw the money changers out of the temple, he showed us  clearly that those who seek to utilize the gifts we share in selfishness and greed and abuse us are to be kept from us. Did He die for them too?  Yes.  While His love is unconditional the blessings of his presence and His gifts are conditional on our willingness and diligence in treating Himself and the gifts He gives with reverence.  When he gives a great gift, He requires great diligence.  The atonement provided a way for us to retain and regain our gifts when we screw up, it didn’t give us a ticket to abuse and use one another and disrespect the Gift.  
Here’s what this looks like in relationships:      My husband has been a complete jerk at times.  He has completely disrespected my efforts and sacrifices.  He has denied me forgiveness at times (it takes him longer to process pain), He has said insensitive things, etc.  A few months ago we were moving and when he left ahead of me, made no provisions for me and the kids to have money.  He made arrangements for himself, but not us.  Sounds pretty rotten, huh?  It felt pretty rotten too, and I was really angry and hurt by it.  Let’s look at this from another side.  I am a grown woman.  I did not prepare and make provisions for myself, either.  I dug myself into a pit by turning a blind eye to my own needs and those of my kids.  Part of this creation took place through and internal and unconscious habit of creating situations where I could be the victim and show everyone what a martyr I was.  While I was busily making myself into a martyr I turned him into a villain.  I’m not taking responsibility for His choices, but that is between him and God.  I knew from past experience how much work it is to repair and clean a house for a move, but I failed to make the proper, timely arrangements for the assistance I would need.  The only request I made for help was a post or message on FB to a few friends, the day of.  I didn’t call people in advance, I didn’t organize it.  Part of this was my pride, I was busy trying to prove how self-reliant I was.  Then when I had the help of a few friends who I am deeply grateful to, I still had to be at the house cleaning and fixing things for 15-16 hours per day (there until 3 am).  My kids were well cared for at this time by two close friends.  I was SO angry and hurt at my husband, but I had learned to be accountable for my life, so I looked for what I had done to create this and I identified the problems I just described and set up new boundaries.  I would never again do packing or final house cleaning and I wouldn’t expect my husband to either, I would hire it all out.  My prayers for comfort brought me peace and comfort and the answer, “Don’t go back.”  
I was no longer angry with my husband at this point and saw him for the great person that he is, but I also recognized that I had not been happy for a long time and that if I was to be happy in or out of my marriage I had to be more clear in myself about who I am and what I will and will not do.  I realized that the resentment that I harbored for him was, in part, because I was blaming him for a lot of choices that I had shoved off onto him using his position as head of our home as an excuse to never have to be accountable for making wrong choices myself. In previous times I had made all the decisions myself in order to prevent situations where I might need to forgive Him.  I also realized that I hid things from people in fear of their judgement of him....because I had already judged him.  
Not that my husband is a saint, but he has been loving and kind to me throughout our marriage.  He has not always been the most provident provider, but he has worked very hard at it. He also does all the laundry, insists on it, never leaves the toilet lid up, never leaves his clothes or anything of his laying around, he takes the most active role as playmate for the kids I have ever seen, our intimacy has always been respectful and tender, he has always been sensitive to me.  He is active in church responsibility and serves others and reaches out in friendship to those who struggle.  Clearly I married a great man, but I was miserable with him because of the lens I viewed him through.  When hard things happened, when he screwed up I had closed the doors of my heart to him and every mistake he made I added  to my case file against him to justify my closure instead of having to risk pain.  I took personal responsibility on the surface, but secretly harbored resentment towards him, reasoning that he should take more personal responsibility.
During our separation I was only putting off divorce because the state I was in required a 6 month residency in order to file.  My reasons were typical, we just aren’t right for each other, I don’t expect him to change, he’s a great guy, but we aren’t good for each other.  These were all true statements, but there really weren’t concrete reasons to end our marriage.  I also claimed a testimony in the atonement of Christ, but I wasn’t using it to heal my marriage.
During this period I went to an Energy Healing class and the Teachers were also teaching a marriage class, I took that too.  During that course as I healed some of my own false beliefs and pain I began to see him even more clearly and with compassion.  As I turned more to the Savior for healing my frame of mind changed.  One night as I was talking to my husband and apologizing for the harsh words I’d said and other things.  We were talking about the early days of marriage and child-rearing it was like a blanket of light fell over all the memories of our past years and the pain and resentment disappeared and left only beauty, peace, and light.  The beauty, peace and light had been there the whole time, but my lenses were so clouded by fear, resentment, guilt and pain I had not seen it for years.  I couldn’t get healed for all those years because I was praying for Rob to change and the changes needed to be in me.  When I started to take accountability the healing began and I started to see myself as God sees me and Rob as God sees him, and Rob became irresistable to me again. I saw that he was a precious gift given to me by God to assist me in the healing I had already experienced in myself.  I began to feel giddy about being with him! It was better than when we were engaged because I knew him better and loved him even more.
I did not save my marriage by being accountable and turning to God, but together with God we did.  Rob’s part in this story is his to tell, he learned his own lessons and experienced His own miracles, but the only part I get to tell, the only part that is my business is the side that I lived. All that matters is that I became accountable, and got the healing I needed.  Truthfully, I found that in that space where I was able to stand with God and see myself as I am, I became able to see Rob as he is and it no longer mattered to me whether he ever changed.  When I stopped seeing him as the carricature that I had created in my mind to justify my own pride and lower-self behavior I became able to connect to him deeply and fully.  Before that it was like trying to hug a shadow...can’t do it, there’s nothing there.  
The X-factor in relationship healing and strengthening is God.  That path to him begins with accountability, and the power to succeed on the path is the atonement of Christ. In Marriage true strength comes from two wholes trusting in God, not two halves trusting in each other.
The best model for success in any relationship is to take accountability before God and the other person, asking God what he requires of you to make it right and asking for him to breach the gap through the atonement.  One of the steps on our path to accountability and healing in our marriage was a Seminar we attended with Tony Purcell.  I have also since been blessed to work with his wife Abby in creating deeper connections to my kids as well.  I’m sure you realize that there’s no way you can live in a disjointed marriage without having disconnection with your kids too.


Connect yourself to God and the God in you will come through and reveal to you the God (or good) in others.


Sincerely,
Liz King Bradley
11/18/11

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Comfort in Times of Pain

   Whether it is labor and delivery, grieving over the loss of a loved-one or a broken bone.  There is comfort in knowing we are not alone.  The point at which we think we can handle no more is the second before we receive all we need.  This is true of bringing babies into the world and it is true according to all my experience and the experiences I've heard from others.  It is that moment when we stop struggling that the light flows in.  Is it that the light suddenly appeared, or that we finally opened our eyes to see it?  No matter the process, most can agree that the light DOES come in and whether we are delivered from the pain or strengthened to bear it we are given what we need.  In my younger years of parenting the pain was the stress of trying to meet so many needs at one time. (I had five 6 and under.)  There were days I felt abandoned and forsaken by God, and I would take this anger and frustration to Him.  He never condemned me, he simply wrapped me in His love and seemed to understand.  His love would melt away the frustration and it meant EVERYTHING to know He was there and I was never alone.  My husband was deployed for much of these years, so God was my "spouse" in a way.  He is ALWAYS my children's father (the father of their spirits), and He is always mine.  When God, with His infinite love, comes to us in our finite need the pain and despair are dissolved and we are left with greater strength than we thought we could have and somehow keep walking into another day.  Pain is a beautiful thing in hindsight, because in hind sight we see God in it.

Liz King Bradley
11/17/11

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

"Mother Guilt" at 5 AM

  I dedicate most of my posting on this blog to how we treat ourselves and knowing who we are.  In truth, when we really see ourselves for the beautiful, powerful Daughters of God that we are there is no fear of defeat because we know that God will help us and we will eventually conquer, we'll even be highly effective parents! Sounds too good to be true, right?  Here's what I am faced with at 5 o'clock in the morning.  Last night I completely blew my top at my kids.  Worse...I almost enjoyed it (the power I was deceiving myself that I had).

 I didn't enjoy the yelling, of course, because my divine self was telling me the whole time, "You're doing it the wrong way and this hurts them and me." Yet, because I was in a state of fear this was all I could think of to do.  Truthfully, we all have it in us to be the rockstar parents we dream of being, remember those days...or moments when you just KNEW you were knocking it outta the park, the message was getting through and you felt comfortable with the method?  We really know what to do, but we become lazy and then we listen to the lie in our minds that says "I don't know what to do?" The insane thing is that in that moment when you're yelling and threatening in order to CONTROL (not guide) there is this crazy idea:  They aren't listening, they never listen- oh my gosh I'm a bad parent because my kids won't listen to me- (yelling louder now), they're going to grow up and not know how to take care of their own property, if they don't get this done today, it's never going to get done and.....etc. Oh, and one more thought that is almost always in the back of my mind when I go on this kind of tirade: "What will people think?"

I know the danger of thinking about what others think of me, a) it is NONE of my business, b) I am trespassing when I try to get into other people's heads, c)when I do that it's like taking all my value, worth, and connection to God and placing it in someone else's hands...they don't want it (ok some might, but those are NOT peeps I want to spend much time with because they feel smothering), they don't need it, and how dare I push off onto them such a heavy burden that is made for me and only I can carry, and truthfully I cannot carry it alone, but through Christ. So the tirade goes on and on and on, until YOU/I stop it and start consciously replacing the long list of lies, or merciless judgement with the truth, because all this was a voice of fear and despair.

In my case, I sent the kids to their rooms, while I calmed down.  When my kids were very little we had a codeword that meant "I need time a lone to calm down because I can't think of a single nice way to behave right now." I would say "Crazymom is coming."..ok that's a code phrase, but it worked.  I told them this because I knew that my issues were boiling up under me and I needed time to process so I could treat them with the dignity, love and respect they deserve and that I deserve to give them.  Now that our family life is less hectic (they are older and take most care of themselves) I forget sometimes, that "CrazyMom" is trying to come out.  Truthfully I thought I fired her, but apparently I still think she's useful and I need her.  I actually don't because I only pull her out in order to control, not to teach, nurture, guide, direct and SAVOR my children.  Here's the steps I took last night that worked:

BREATH

1)Stop,

2) Pray, for peace, clarity, guidance, remembrance, angels to bring in light (of Christ)...etc.

3) Create space to think (send the kids away as nicely as possible, or just go in your room, etc.)

4) Evaluate thoughts and feelings and replace lies with truth (writing them down is a powerful tool for more permanent correction) (btw thinking you can't take the time to process this is another lie because until you do it will never be corrected)

5) Identify the thought or belief and feeling that triggered all the rest, correcting that one will help you PREVENT it from happening again.
* The most common trigger feelings are guilt, shame, fear-and they usually center around thinking what others will say or think about you, but sometimes it's fear of failure before yourself and God...Remember with God on your side (and he is always on our side, He always desires us to succeed) and the divinity He placed in you you cannot fail, not permanently.

6) Consciously choose to accept and love yourself, in the moment, even in the error in behavior. Still refuse to embrace lower-self behavior, but embrace yourSELF.

7)Go back before God in prayer. Seek His forgiveness and the power to change this pattern.  I often use visualizations to help with this.  I picture myself standing before Christ and handing him that thought or belief that lead to undesirable actions and I feel His love for me as he replaces my darkness with light and strength to overcome this behavior.
If I truly do not know, consciously, how to handle the situation, I get help.  I talk to friends, family, my husband, I read books.  All of this information is sent through my "spirit filter".  If it doesn't resonate and fill me with peace, joy, and love, I keep looking until I find something that does.
More often than not, the answer is not in a method, but in a change of the way I think about a situation.  Remembering who I am and who they are is the surest way for me to stop justifying dark behavior and treat myself and my children with love and light and forgiveness.  Doing a meditation on "Who am I, really? is a powerful tool in this setting. As we re-align ourselves to our divine, spirit self, we align ourselves to God and to the divine spirit selves of our children.  In that space we can sense instinctively what is needed and proceed with faith, love, and confidence.

Here's what this meditation looks like:
Create quiet space for yourself. (for some people there is music that helps quiet their mind and soul, if that works for you, use it)
Take three deep breaths through your nose and DEEP into your diaphragm (bottom of stomach/abdomen)
Concentrate inward to the center of yourself.
Imagine a beam of light, see it's color, identify it's feeling
Realize that this part of you is eternal, and knows all things and can bring into your physical mind the remembrance of what it is you need to do to become outside what you are on the inside: a divine eternal being filled with love and light from God.

The truth is that there is both light and darkness to be had in this world.  There are spirits of light, love, and Christ, there are spirits of fear, darkness, and Satan.  Remembering who we are reminds us that we came from light, our destiny is light and we get to teach our physical minds to trust, obey and seek light.  Within that light is a spirit of complete and unfailing forgiveness and love.  This is the influence I chose to follow, this is the influence that makes me an effective mother, this is the influence that creates unity in my home and safety for myself and my children.  We can create shields of light around ourselves and our children as we treasure up the truth about who we are and remember that the light in us is stronger than the darkness that confronts us.  Standing firm in the face of temptation, the temptation of self-loathing and fear of"not enough" (not having enough, not BEING enough) and declaring to ourselves and the principalities of the earth that we are daughters of God, who love and serve Jesus Christ and that His light is in us we become powerful and someday we will have conquered all the darkness that haunts us.  In the mean time, remember to call on God and his angels for the help you need and remember who you are.

~Live in light, Trust in God, Live Happy Now~

Love,

Liz King Bradley

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

God Loves YOU

    Perhaps the message most dear to each of us is the one we have struggled the most to live. The antithesis of the lies our tempters tell us:  "you're no good." "what's so special about you"  "you're worthless and without light"  "God doesn't want you, you've messed up too much"  "what have you got to offer that the world could not find somewhere else?"  "you are a personage of flesh and there is nothing more".  The truth that is in us shines brightly with the power and majesty of God and only when we believe the lies does it grow dim.  When God said let your light so shine before men, one of the things he meant was "Believe in who you are, that you are mine and testify it to the world that they may know that they are mine.  Give praise and glory freely that they may see the God in themselves."  We are infinitely good, infinitely special, we have endless possibilities to offer, we are full of light, God wants ALL his children and has provided a way through Jesus Christ that no sin is too much unless you want it to be, the message in you is as unique as the package that contains it, you were spirit before you were flesh and one day both spirit and flesh will meet God face to face sanctified and changed from mortality to immortality.  Only when we allow ourselves to forget these truths do our lights grow dim, it is then that we live in fear and hatred of our fellow beings in all hatreds many forms (jealousy, anger, pride, selfishness).  We are hear to learn and to prove one thing, that we will follow God in all things and submit our wills to Him, that is why "loving what is" sets us free, for "what is" is what God has created it to be for the benefit of our growth.  I'm not forgetting our personal responsibility to create our own lives, yet when it comes to creating there is none more powerful than God.  When we accept that, we accept God and he has long ago accepted us when His son died that we might live.  In repentance we do not change his feeling or attitude towards us, we change our attitude and feeling toward Him and become capable of receiving the gift he offers us freely.  The battle over Good and Evil is already won and God wants all to be on the winning side, even with Him to partake of the joy He has provided for each of us through the Holy sacrifice of His only begotten son.  Break free from the shackles of your own self doubt and dare to believe in the truth of the gospel that calls all people to light, and feel as the light washes over you relieving you from heartache and pain.

With all my heart,

Liz King Bradley
Torch-bearer for the Light of Christ
Coach and Speaker for Finding the Truth in YOU!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Trusting in Christ to Light The Way

  I have used the phrase "stand in light" many times in this blog and other places.  What do I mean by stand in light?  I mean trust in Christ and believe in ourselves and the gifts God has given us while seeking with wholeness of heart to do His will.  Standing in light means I am thinking, speaking, and acting in complete harmony with who I really am as a Daughter of God.  I'm profoundly grateful for the sisters I have who took me aside and shared with me their experiences about their own divine nature.  As they shared with me the sacred truth in them it awakened the sacred truth in me and stayed with me.  I am also grateful for the people who tried to tell me I was anything less than amazing.  Through them I confronted my deepest fears and doubts in myself and grew into God's picture of me as I turned to Him for solace, peace and affirmation of identity.  There are times we are so lost in our own crap that only God remembers who we really are.  While the truth lies within us, only God can open the door, pull up the shades and give us a skylight to see the brilliance that lies within.  People in our lives who mirror to us the yuckiness we hold onto that is NOT us, but is ON us give us the opportunity to identify the baggage and push it off. However the sacred relationships are the ones that ignite the light that dissolves the darkness.  Some of these sacred relationships in my life are my sisters: Laura King Gilson, Malinda King Minniear, Jennifer King Barton, Ginny King, Rebecca Pihlajisto and my brothers: Spencer King, Matt King, and Joseph King. I am grateful for these sacred relationships.  I am grateful for those that have challenged me and shown me my darkness, but I would not seek out that kind of friction for consistent interactions. :P  My sisters have often lovingly, but plainly spoken truth to me that could have been hard to hear- and was at times- and I have chosen never to complain to them about it because I saw that it helped me.  They have also been the ones to share space with me into the wee hours of the morning talking about their sacred experiences of knowing who they are. I'm grateful for sisters that stand in light and share it with me, from them I learned to see my own and learn to stand in it-in Christ.

Find the Truth in YOU!

Love,

Liz King Bradley
Energy Coach and Speaker for Finding the Truth in YOU!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Women Don’t Matter Once They Become Mothers?


I have looked at women I knew before ever having kids and while they were pregnant with their first and wondered, “Why did she stop taking care of herself?”  "Why did I stop taking care of myself?" Today as I pondered this it hit me.  Some of us take the will and desire to take care of ourselves and the value we place in ourselves and shift all of it to our kids.  The beautiful child who we carried and brought into the world in companionship with God and our husbands is so full of beauty and promise and worth and we fall in love with them.  Ladies, they do not need YOUR worth, they have their own.  As you care for yourself your children will see that there is honor, beauty and value in mothers.  From the time they are born they are watching.  Their subconscious mind is taking in all the messages we send, their conscious mind is not developed and does not filter it.  When we fail to take care of ourselves and only get dressed up to leave, we send two messages:  “I am not important enough to take care of." and "What is happening outside the home is more important that what happens in it."  We may wonder why so many young women doubt their own value and worth and then grow up to downgrade their value as mothers and of motherhood, the answer is staring us in the face every day that we don’t take care of ourselves including our appearance.  The temple in the old testament was beautiful and ornate and great attention was paid to every detail, God cares about our appearance because our bodies are the temple to house His Spirit.  Am I saying we need to try to look like somebody on a magazine? No.  I’m saying we need to look in the mirror recognize that we are Divine Daughters of a living and loving God and give ourselves the love, attention and time we give to our children.  Our bodies are our vehicles in this life and the bodies we will get to have after we are resurrected, let’s treat them with respect and love and show God and our children that MOTHERS and MOTHERHOOD MATTER!
Love,
Liz King Bradley
Energy Coach and Speaker for Finding the Truth in YOU!


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I Am A Daughter of a King and I Already Live in My Palace

  Tonight I read "Daughter of a King" by Rachel Ann Nunes.  In the end she goes to live with her father in a crystal palace.  I told my kids that if the story continued she would speak with the king and he would show her the ways he had been there with her all along, and she would recognize the helpers he sent and the gifts he had given to make her life and her family's comfortable and happy.  Then I realised and told my kids that what's important is not only will we live with The King, we already live in a palace, built especially for us by The King, only this palace can sing, laugh, dance, run, eat, hear, read, write, etc.  I wept as I felt and saw the reality of this!  I reminded them that the King visits his palace and speaks with us, and that we get to have his spirit to be with us.  I let them know that at the store I had many things I wanted to buy, but I chose this book because more than anything I want them to know that they are sons and daughters of a King and that He can be with them.  Is there room in your palace for the King?

Liz King Bradley
Energy Coach and Speaker for Finding the truth in YOU!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I Know Who I Am, DO YOU?

     For about a week I was very angry at my husband.  We were recently separated, and I was contemplating divorce.  The separation was a vehicle for a lot of change...in myself.  I think he changed too, but what matters is that it changed me.  When we reunited I was afraid that I would relapse into old behaviors and beliefs.  Guess what??  I DID!  There are two principles at work here, one is that fear is faith in what we don't want and faith is POWERFUL!  I had so much faith in my failure I created it.  The other principle is that I am the only one responsible for my beliefs and behaviors.  There is no way anyone else can change my beliefs and behaviors without my permission.  I was angry at my husband for misunderstanding me and misrepresenting me to others, but what I was asking him to provide for me was my identity. WOW! Seriously? Yeah.  I was expecting him to tell me who I am.  It's hard enough sometimes to know who we are let alone to tell someone else who they are.  There are basic things, like being children of God, etc.,  but as far as the intricate details of the divine characteristics we possess and our inner selves?  No-one but God can give us that picture, and we have to seek it for ourselves.  Once again, when I stopped expecting him to give me what I already have, and what I can give to myself I could love him freely and I could live free.

A while back I took the time to write down the signs of self-betrayal so I could recognize them more quickly and avoid spreading around the poison I felt inside by turning inward to my heart and to God.  When I catch myself in justification, it is clear that I am not happy with my choices.  Do you ever find yourself arguing with yourself?  these kind of arguments are often "in preparation" for being confronted by someone. Well, when that happens the joke is on us because WE ARE THE ONLY ONES TALKING!  Only one who is accused has a reason to justify themselves, and WE are our accusers.

In the 12-step program (alcaholics Annonymous) , originally started for the recovery of alcaholics I learned a tip: Question your motives.  As Byron Katy says, "Is it true?"  I may feel alone, rejected, wronged, or ashamed, but I might be wrong.  Those kinds of feelings can lie, and usually do.  The truth s that life ALWAYS gives back to us what we feed it with our actions, words, thoughts and beliefs.  The scriptures and other sources have beckoned us for the whole of the earth's life to use our thoughts productively in FAITH.  Faith is the assumption that something is happening, or is true. Faith doesn't just desire, it believes, even knows something.  In our lives be become our own personal prophets when be use our thoughts, feelings and beliefs on purpose--or consciously.  I recently found a page and a half of writing, statements of gratitude and I found that all of what I wrote on that page came to be.  These were statements of things that I desired at the time, the statement of gratitude was the greatest manifestation and reinforcement of my true belief that God would bring into my life all that was necessary for me to become and receive all I desired that was good, incidentally I'm writing more careful this time because some of the wording brought some pain as well.  God brings into our lives the things that we really want so we can decide more surely what we want.  Sometimes getting what we want and finding that we don't really want it helps us narrow our vision to what's most important to us.
     Another sign that we are betraying ourselves is emotions or attitudes that tend toward accusations.  Are we making accusations?  What are we the most angry about?  The characteristic we see in others that triggers the most emotion in us is the characteristic we embody and despise.  Another question to ask here is, "Am I seeking faults in them because I have behaved below my true self to them?  Am I looking for faults in others to avoid looking at myself?
     When we experience pain or discomfort it is because we believe a lie, or that we believe a lie about something.   Although some pain comes from adjustment to something we assumed to be one way being another, as in the death of a loved one.  Although, even in that many times the pain is in regrets, or believing the lie that death is the end.  When someone says something derogatory about us it is only painful when we believe it is true.  For years I resented someone who told me I was not a good mom.  I become free from this the day I realized it hurt because I felt like I wasn't a good mom. For some reason it is really common for parents to rely on others to tell them they are good, and when someone doesn't it devastating.  Other people's actions are only powerful to the extent we rely on them for our own self-worth.  Do I believe a lie?  Do I need someone else to "make me feel good"?  CAN someone else make me feel good?
     When I'm angry, bitter, resentful, or self-pittying it is a sure sign that I am betraying myself.  The truth I have noticed is that the day I cannot seem to be nice to anyone is the day I am not living up to the truth in me, or the truth God has given me.  This played out in recent years as I tried to run, like Jonah, from the promptings of my Heavenly Father to help and teach others the things He's taught me that have brought me peace, joy, freedom, and healing.  I was well-meaning, I thought I was staying true to principles I believed in, but I was using those principles to stay in my comfort zone and not risk rejection from others.

Nietzche wrote: "When we despise ourselves, we love the despisers in ourselves."  Emotions , repetition and time are currency.  The more time and emotions we put into things the bigger and stronger they get.  Our thoughts actually get implanted to our subconscious through emotions and repetition, our subconscious mind is constantly sending out signals of what we want and who we are. Do we want to feed the darkness in us or the light?  The ultimate battle is over darkness and light-good and evil-God and the Devil.  Which one will thrive and survive?  The one we feed.  The answer is not to run from the darkness, but to confront it with light.  We cannot overcome darkness by pretending it is not there, when we do that our darkness (or weakness) will surface, and usually when we least expect it and when it can do us the most harm.  We confront darkness by facing it, conquering it with truth and replacing it with light.  Truth is light, but light comes from a source and that source is Christ.  When we confront the darkness in us it is most perfectly healed when we then take it to Him and offer it up.  In exchange He gives us peace, light. and the strength-if we chose it-to change.  The concept of grace is the power Christ gives us to replace our weakness with His perfection.  His strength becomes ours as we "plug in" to it through acceptance of truth and living that truth.
     I have the power to change my life by choosing WHO I believe.

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Liz King Bradley

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Security, Prosperity, Peace of Mind

Whether I have $10,000 or $00000 in the bank my ability to thrive and the security of my family is the same.  The source of my wealth and happiness is not in how much money I have, but in how much there is in me to give, and how willing I am to follow the instructions of divine guidance.  Each of us have experience and abilities that others do not, there is an exchange available to create means when we seek to meet the needs of others.  Security and prosperity are found in our ability to recognize the needs people have and match them with the gifts we have to offer.  As we meet their needs, they in turn meet ours it's a beautiful give and take.
 I believe God never places us in any situation we cannot handle and there is no situation he cannot help us succeed in.  Through various experiences in my life I have learned that I always have what I need to do all that is necessary as long as I'm willing to trust in God and obey.  When I remain calm and ask the right questions I always find what I need.  Some of the right questions are:  What lesson is this experience meant to teach me? ,  Who am I to serve?  What am I to do now?  What do I already have that will help me solve this problem?  Who can I call upon who can help me through this?  Sometimes the very reason we find ourselves in difficulty is that it may cause us to connect to someone who can help us, and who also needs what we have in return.  Recently a friend called me in need of help with her computer.  While I do not possess the necessary knowledge or skills to fix it, I did know of someone who could.  I made a phone call to get her the necessary help and the person I called said they were meaning to call me to help them with something.  The help they needed was to help me.  It worked out beautifully.
Whatever situation we find ourselves in is exactly the one we need to grow and to serve others. Sometimes we serve others by asking for their help, sometimes we serve others by offering what we have in exchange for what they have.
The key to peace of mind in any situation is trust in God.  It is trust in God and in his mindfulness of ourselves and our situation gives us the power and ability to see the good in any situation, to remain calm and ask productive questions.  When we know that God is on our side, there is NO room for fear.  Here's the hard truth, I can say it because I've had to face it before,  if you are full of fear, you don't really trust in God.  The truth is that if we are truly full of faith and trust in God, there is NO ROOM for fear.   We live a life of learning with a perfect safety net always there to protect us, we are always supported.  Peace of mind comes from knowing God, and knowing who we are in relationship to Him.  Just as we would never allow our children to go through pain one second longer than necessary, he wouldn't either.
Whatever pain we're in serves a purpose or we wouldn't have it.  That pain can come in the form of financial stress, past abuse issues, etc. and the answer to all pain is in trusting and turning to God for healing through Christ.  I know that Christ stands ready in anticipation to heal our pain and carry away all our grief when we love light and peace more than we love the excuses we've been using from our pain.  We all feel good talking about faith and trust in God, we feel good when we bear witness of Christ. We feel good because these are eternal truths, we live well when we embody and embrace these truths.  When we partake in the sacrament or communion we symbolically partake of Christ, he becomes part of us.  Better than just something we put on, God gave us symbols that become a part of us.  When I took upon me the name of Christ through baptism I took upon myself the responsibility to stand as a witness for him and also the blessing of the removal of all my sins/sufferings past, present, and future. In taking upon me his name I can take upon myself his perfection when I choose to let go of fear, resentment, blame, and guilt. I chose to let it go because Christ has made me perfect in Him and I chose to accept that gift.  Do I slip up?  ABSOLUTELY, but it is not a final condition because of the atonement Christ made for me.  He suffered for all, so we don't have to suffer.  Pain will occur, mistakes will be made, but because of His sacrifice all can be made pure.  Security, prosperity, and peace of mind are in God through his Son, Jesus Christ.

Liz King Bradley

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

How Great is Grief

So, it's been a while.  The death of my brother and the depth and magnitude of emotions I've experienced have made some of what I was passionate about before seem a little....trite.  What I really want to communicate to everyone who reads my thoughts is the need for more light in each of our lives, in our relationships.  The words at my disposal seem to pale in comparison to how I feel them and perceive them, but I'm going to attempt it here.  In "the end" what really matters is the answer to this simple question "Will you embrace the light and all it has to offer, or the darkness and all it SAYS it has to offer?"  That's it, that's all there really is, do we chose darkness and all that goes with it, or light and all that comes with it.  No matter the religion, philosophy or ideology it comes down to what we chose to embrace, what we are in harmony or unity with.  What do we seek to fill our lives with:  love, light, faith, compassion, forgiveness, charity, and hope or resentment, blame, fear, darkness, selfishness, despair, and suffering?  What are our true motives?  What is our true intention?  What direction are we headed in?  Whom are we really serving?  Why do we do what we do?  Does it really matter?  Does what I do each day contribute to the well-being of the human family as a whole?  Does it really matter if others buy into what I sell (because what I sell is really bringing them closer to light, love, faith, hope, charity, peace, comfort, joy, compassion, and truth)?  Is what I promote truly going to benefit others in some valuable way?  Am I giving them the tiniest part of myself that I possibly can because as long as no-one sees the real me they can only reject a facade?  Am I using the gifts that God gave me to my fullest capacity, or am I hiding because I fear the rejection or condemnation of my peers?  These are the questions I've been pondering, they are the ones that I find truly matter when faced with the question of mortality from a place of accountability. I get to add to my repetoir of skills learned and mastered in life school, the gift of Grieving to Learn and being able to guide others through it too.  How great is God to be able to turn death into a life-giving experience?  How great is God?

Liz King Bradley
Coach for Grieving and Abuse and Depression Recovery

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Taking Accountability: I Create My Life

I create my life starting with my beliefs.  Out of my beliefs come all my thoughts, actions, words, and feelings.  All of these are the tools I create my life with, but it begins with belief.  The key to changing our lives is in identifying what we believe, not what we think we believe, what we really believe.  Your circumstances and the things people say or do to you that trigger strong emotion are a mirror to your own beliefs.  When we stand in power and light our creations are unstoppable, but our broken or false beliefs about life, ourselves, and God block us from receiving all that we want and/or need to succeed in our passion and purpose....or even just getting through the day without yelling at the kids! :P  When we stand in light we stop trying to get what we want and need from others, we see ourselves and others as the unlimited creators we are and we can move through life in confidence and faith because we see the truth that there is a gigantic safety net of mercy and grace in this universe and that despite all the worrying we've done things really do work out.  I am amazed when I stand in light how I can see that I am where I need to be and there is no room for blame or resentment because I truly do have all I need and part of that came from the things I experienced that were hard at the time.  Whatever we want from others we need to give to ourselves.  No amount of love and acceptance from another person can ever fill in a hole created by not accepting and loving ourselves.  When we love and accept ourselves we create the "bucket" that holds the love and acceptance from others.  When we don't create that love for ourselves it won't matter how much we are given, there is no place to keep it, and people will pull away because they can feel you are taking and taking and taking from them. I invite you to STOP TAKING FROM OTHERS WHAT YOU NEED TO GIVE YOURSELF!  I invite you to look at yourself everytime you want approval from someone else and say, " I accept and love myself, just as I am."  There is incredible power in that statement, the love that comes from self is the sweetest. Create what you want and love, love, love yourself.


Liz King Bradley
Belief Breakthrough and Energy Coach

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Set Back, Jumps Forward, Being Me

Set Back:   So, I love my last post because it helped me out of a slump.  Somehow I managed to forget  what I wrote and got into a place of being really angry that the job that is taking us to this new place is not the one we had hoped for.  Waste.of.time!

 So, Jumps Ahead: the slump just gave me that much more motivation to live  with more discipline and commitment to the principles I believe in, principles of faith, trust in God, acceptance, receptivity, love, and accountability.  When I allow all these principles to work in unity in my life my life runs smoothly, even when there's bumps in my planned road.  I can be at peace and filled with love in any circumstance if I keep my heart open to God's will and trust in Him while I take responsibility for my part in it.  The worst part of slipping into a lower version of myself is how I want to blame others around me and lash out at them.  I am still learning more everyday about how to support myself and be accountable, and also let others have their accountability too.  The most important thing I've learned is that when my burden is too heavy it is because I am carrying some that isn't mine and that when I try to make another person responsible for my happiness I give them one that is not theirs.  When that happens, the blame fest begins! So from now on, that is my question to myself, "Who am I making responsible for my happiness?  Is that why I'm so angry?", "Who is REALLY responsible for this?" (Hello! it's me!)  It's awesome to be accountable, it's a powerful place to be.  Making others accountable for my life and happiness makes me helpless because I cannot control another person.  Taking my responsibilities makes me powerful, and when myself is too much to handle, God is always there to help.  The key seems to be for me to stay in a place of trust with God, that makes the accountability easy, what can overpower me when God is my power?   I am so grateful for friends and family over the years who have reminded me that God is in control, that -whatever is happening- God is in it and it is for my best good and that because God planned it He is in it with me.

Being Me:  Who am I?  When I forget that I am God's daughter and not His counsellor I get into a place of pride.  I'm not talking about confidence and self-worth, I'm talking about that counterfeit that says I'm so great and so powerful that I know better than God.  When I rail against "what is" I am trying to counsel God. I know that He knows what is best for me and more than that would not allow me to suffer ANYTHING that wasn't absolutely necessary for my growth.  When I remember that, I feel His support in my "life lessons" and comfort in my sorrow, and I ask productive questions like "What am I to do first(now)?", "What do I need to learn?", "Who do I need to seek out?", etc.  When I remember I am God's daughter and that His love for me surpasses my understanding I am filled with worth, value, joy, peace, confidence, and willingness to face with optimism (or at least acceptance with hope) whatever the next direction is in my path.

I'm so grateful to be me and to know who that is.  I'm so grateful you are you. Today, I am grateful for the privilege of participation in life as God has planned it.

Love,

Liz King Bradley
Awakening Coach

Monday, May 16, 2011

Change, The Known, and the Unknown

I get to move again. I have moved so many times it is no longer an adventure, it has become as routine for me as doing dished, laundry, mowing lawns, washing cars, etc. Here's what I've learned.  When I step into the unknown, it is not unknown to God.  He knows the where, who, why and how.  Every place I've lived there have been people for me to help and who have helped me.  One move the people I met taught me a lot about how to rely on God and myself because there was no support from them.  I am so grateful for that experience, I'm so grateful that God had enough trust in me to send me to a place I could learn what I needed to to get closer to Him.  Other places I've learned how to let others serve me, how to let God help me through them.  I remember one move where I was able to help another person with personal challenges that I had the info she needed to use as a springboard to her own breakthroughs because of my own personal experiences with similar issues.  I am so grateful to know that no matter what I experience in my new place, with new people, and new ideas it is the right thing for me.  I'm grateful that it is easy for me to learn my lessons as I turn to God for the wisdom, power and will to carry out my purpose in whatever place I go.  I am so grateful for the love and support I find as I travel through this life.  I am so grateful for the love I get to feel and the happiness that comes to me.  I am so grateful that my needs are always met and the times and ways are the ways that are best for me, and show me the ways I can grow. I may not always recognize that instantly, but  that's ok. I can look back at all my life and see the goodness and wisdom in the path, and know that it has been divinely guided, it is just too beautifully orchestrated to be otherwise.  I'm thankful today for the joy and peace that surpasses the heartache and grief of the past.  The memories and heartaches that used to bring pain and shame have become the sweetest treasures, the catalyst to the joy and peace that I feel today. How great is my God, and how great am I in his love.

Liz King Bradley
Awakening Coach, Speaker of Love, Light, and Truth

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

My Imperfection is One of God's Greatest Tools

My imperfection is one of God's greatest tools. My imperfections are often the very things that lead me to the people and situations I need to be in and experience to be of service to God. My imperfections are only there to serve me and others, to bring me to the places I need to go, and to reflect to others their same imperfections. I get to let them go as soon as they are in my way enough for me to want to and as soon as it is wisdom in God to remove them.The key always seems to be in becoming willing, willing to completely and fully accept God's will for me. Some people are drawn to me BY my imperfections, yes others are repelled, but sometimes I think God lets me keep them because they are still useful in His purpose for me. So, I get to be grateful for the times things don't work out the way I want despite my BEST efforts, I get to be grateful for that character trait that I've begged God to remove from me, because He would if I/He were done with it. I get to continue to do my best and trust that God's purpose for me is better than my own and let go of blame and frustration over things not going as I planned, they are going as God planned. I get to be grateful and forget about how these imperfections make me look to others, it is none of my business what others think, even about me. I get to be grateful that when I turn to God for His opinion of me, there is always love and acceptance. When I do my best, there is absolute assurance for me that whatever came to be was meant to be.

Love,

Liz King Bradley
Life and Relationship Coach
Creator of Live Happy Now and Loveblock Breakthrough Programs
Public Speaker
Author

Thursday, May 5, 2011

I Came From a Divine Creator

The more I learn about the universe, the patterns confirm to me the existence and nature of my God. When I study biology, especially the human body I am continually impressed with a deepened understanding and knowledge of God. To me, all things lead back to Him, there is no fear to explore because the truth of what I know will not change. Truth brings light, knowledge and understanding and leads one on to further light, knowledge and understanding. I am not a creature on this earth trying to figure things out. I am a child of God on the earth learning and growing with the guidance and nurturing of a living and loving God who is always present, but never interfering, who will help me to the degree I allow him and who will allow me to experience the lessons necessary for my growth and understanding so that I can learn to be strong and wise and powerful as He is. Because I came from Him, I can be like Him, a creator of my destiny and my life, and a teacher and creator with others. This is my truth, it is a truth I share with my children, there is nothing that will hold them back in this life if they know they have the power and capacity given them from a real God who knows all and wants to help them to know all too. I know I can question Him. I believe He welcomes the questions because He wants to give me the answers. I also believe this is all dependent on my willingness to receive and act on the answers I get.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Living in the Loving Power of a Divine Creator

I am so grateful today for what I know about God and His love for me. My understanding of God has lead me on a glorious path to find the powerful truths that help me to conquer life as it comes and be grateful for the experience. I am so grateful today to be alive and well and aware of who I am and who God wants me to be. I have learned so much on my path and feel God wants me to share what I know. Welcome to a beautiful path of discovery and change. It is time to be full of the joy I believe God intends for all of us. My intent is to share some of that with you.

Love Always,

Liz King Bradley